How To Deal With Negative People: Nobody likes having a negative person in their lives but at some point in your life, you will be in the company of a decidedly negative person. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed too.
10 Strategies to Deal With Negative People
If you’re wondering how you can deal with negative people in your life without being too obvious or rude, don’t worry. Just follow these simple methods.
1. Relax and Keep Calm
Remember, it’s not you but them. So let them say whatever they’re saying and don’t take their words too personally. Keep a smiling face and maintain a good posture, which release chemicals like serotonin and dopamine that help you feel better.
2. Avoid them when possible.
This probably goes without saying, but the absolute best way to deal with negative people is to cut them out of your life. At work, don’t hang out with them at the water cooler or sit next to them at lunch. Uninvite them to any meeting at which their presence is not absolutely required.
If they’re customers that you can’t avoid, stay cordial and friendly but don’t get sucked into a deeper relationship. If you’re online, don’t read the comments sections on political blogs or anywhere else that people vent anonymously. That’s like drinking from a sewer.
3. Find Ways to Make a Positive Change
You can do some sweet things to those negative persons in your life that you love. The sweet tasks can be something as simple as a lunch date, a simple walk, breakfast in bed or a gift card to an all-day spa parlor. These actions flood positivity into the other person’s life, making them feel good and think about good things for a change. And just do all these things without giving them a lecture!
Sometimes, acts like walks or breakfast in bed are not enough. You need to understand the root cause of the behavior of that negative person. Try to reach out and talk about what’s bothering them at the moment. Be calm, if at all possible, and think about how you can help them in your own way.
4. Ignore the negative comments
One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.
5. Never Engage
It’s difficult to not retaliate when a person starts spreading their negativity, but you must try it nonetheless. Remember: Making a conscious decision to not engage does not mean you’re ignoring them. It means that you’re mature enough to maintain an emotional distance from all the negativity around you.
6. Act, Don’t React
It is counterproductive to become frustrated with a person’s negative attitude if you had the chance to preemptively ease it. Don’t wait until your friend has become angry or depressed about a subject if you saw it coming. For example, you might give your group of friends an advance warning that a particular topic should be avoided. If that topic enters the conversation, change the subject or reminisce about some funny memories instead.
7. Trying to feel needed
Is listening to the complaints of the negative person your way of feeling valued? Does it make you feel needed? If it does, then you need to start valuing yourself more and you’ll find that this just won’t happen anymore. Be selective about who and how you help others. Just listening to negative tales over and over helps neither of you.
A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after “helping” someone. If you feel drained or tired or annoyed or frustrated then all you’ve done is given over your own energy to them. This isn’t beneficial to you at all and rarely does it help them in the long run.
8. Keep Your Temper
We all know there are few things more annoying than a person who is constantly harping on the downside of every situation. Whether it’s a rant about television, or sports, or current affairs, do your best to curtail the outburst of frustration that you might begin to feel. Rather than confronting the person on their bad attitude, simply opt to change the subject away from one that is evoking so many complaints.
9. Don’t Take It Personally
If breaking off the friendship is something you do not wish to do, then try to remember that the person’s negative attitude is not a personal slight on you (even if it can feel like it at times). To avoid catching some of that negative energy, continually remind yourself that this person is not annoyed at you or actively trying to upset you. As long as you keep this in mind, you can rest assured that your conscious is clean with regards to the reasons for your friend’s attitude.
10. Know When to Leave
If you feel like your conversation is going nowhere, then just excuse yourself and leave. You have every right to remove yourself from a negative situation and that shouldn’t make you feel guilty. Conversely, don’t let your ego trap you in those negative conversations. Remember in these cases peace of your mind is more important.